Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Where I'm At, Part Deux

   Just an update. My mom's condition has deteriorated. Since being admitted to the hospital she's been suffering from delirium triggered by hypoxia. A brain MRI shows there is not brain damage, no dementia, no micro-metastases, just delirium which the doctors say she will come out of. At her age it takes a bit longer. She's improved and is at least not calling the police on people (long story I'll explain later) but a bit like a wonky radio with a loose wire. Sometimes she's coming in loud and clear and then she shorts out. She'll tell me some wild story about going to Mexico the night before and I'll remind her that she's is in the hospital, had surgery for a bleeding ulcer a week ago and had tortilla pie for dinner.

   "Didn't happen, right?"

   "Afraid not"

   "I'm having pasta tonight, I guess I'll be going to Italy after that"

   Right now she's out of the hospital. Her immediate medical emergency over. Yesterday she went into rehab so that she can get stronger and start walking again. All of this started when she fell while running for the phone. Fran is nothing if not active. This is a lady who even though is receiving treatment for ovarian cancer, was painting woodwork a few days ago. She's like a geriatric Energizer Bunny. We've been spending our days with her, and hanging out, taking care of my dad. Now that Fran is in rehab, she's going to be doing some PT to get up and running again. It looks like she'll have plenty to occupy her time while the doctors attempt to get her mobility back. Her cancer however seems to be moving in a not so good direction and she and the rest of us will be having to make some decisions once the doctors know more.

   I know I'm certainly not the only one in the world dealing with this. Almost everyone I know is in  this same boat in one form or another. Many of my friends find themselves caught between care-giving to aging parents and raising young kids. I at least have one healthy parent, and the ability to get them both great care. For that I'm grateful. Fran meanwhile is her feisty self, wisecracking with the nurses and of course doesn't like any of the food being served where she's staying.  This is not unusual for her. Of course Fran has never eaten a meal she didn't want to send back. Let me put it this way. We took my parents  to Terra Restaurant  and Tra Vigne for dinner. My dad loved them both, she prefers Marys' Pizza Shack.

   She's being treated at one of the best assisted living, skilled nursing places in our county. The staff is great, the care superb and the menu and food are amazing. I was totally impressed. Duck confit for dinner, Vegetable lasagna, fresh fish, almost anything one could want. She just doesn't appreciate food. It doesn't interest her, never has. Right now however the doctors want her to eat a more nutritious diet with a variety of fresh food. in order to get stronger. This is the tough part, getting someone who has never cared about food or eating, to eat. The doctors are going to allow her some wine or beer with dinner (something I know she loves) so maybe that will help things along.

   Meanwhile, we're getting back to our regular work of writing, and I'm  really missing the cooking. I was working on a couple of things before all of this cropped up and I'll be sharing them soon. Cooking and writing are the two things that keep me sane and I've missed them these last 10 days. I need to be doing them both to get through this. They're my "happy place".

   Thanks again to everyone for the good wishes, and while I'm convincing my mom not to get out of bed without asking a nurse first (for the 100th time) I'll be checking in on Twitter to see how/or what everyone else is doing. I can be found @kathygori


  1. Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way. Hope things get better for your mother, and for you as well.

  2. Sending loving thoughts. I am always here to talk to.

  3. What a difficult time for all of you Kathy; know that you and your family are a part of my daily thoughts and I'm praying for healing and for you to remain strong. Sometimes these episodes are the hardest on the caregiver so make sure you take care of yourself too, OK?

    Hoping things improve and like Janis; here for you if you want to or need to chat...Barb

  4. Thanks so much for the update, we were waiting to hear how things are. Keep your spirits up and I hope things improve. Take care of yourself too!



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